I am not perfect, I have never been perfect and I never will be perfect. I have made mistakes...BIG mistakes. But haven't we all? Why is it then that some people are not allowed to make mistakes in other people's eyes? Why are some people not allowed to learn, grow and change? Why aren't some people allowed to have a different point of view without being ridiculed? Why have I not learned to NOT let my guard down around people I think are my friends. The whole "open-minded" Liberal title gets me every time. I keep thinking people who are so tolerant of gay marriage, affirmative action, abortion and believe in spirituality instead of regularly attend a Church service would also afford me the opportunity to have my beliefs without judgement. Wrong! I have learned that these "open-minded" people are only "open-minded" about people who have the same mind. Boring.
I am not saying that all "open-minded" do not accept me. I am saying the angry, insecure and just plain unhappy ones do not accept me. I seem to be a target for women who feel the need to scratch someone's eyes out. I have kind of gotten used to it over the years, but it still hurts. I don't think many people realize that Conservative women have feelings too! Yes, we tend to be more serious. We have a different sense of humor, yes we do have a sense of humor, and we tend to talk in quieter voices. The whole world doesn't need to know our business, just the select few we let in. I need to work on the "select few" I let in. We vent like any other woman, but once the vent is done, so are we, move onto the next issue at hand. Not all Conservative women are "right wing" either. We are on the right, but we tend to be closer to the middle on most topics.
What I have come up against in the last few years is that once people label me with the right-wing Republican and Catholic tag, I'm screwed. All of a sudden any political or religious discussion becomes a debate instead of a discussion. I am anti-abortion and instead of it being becuase of the whole life and death thing, it's because I'm Catholic and the Bible tells me so. I pointed out one morning that the Bible had nothing to do with weather a heart is beating or not and that it is actually a scientific event. That didn't go over well. I am not a big fan of killing animals either and the Bible didn't tell me to feel that way either. It's truly a matter of life and death for me and I like things living. Speaking of religion, just because I go to Church and raise my children Catholic does not mean I am not going to make mistakes or walk away from the teachings every now and then. Some would and have labeled me a hypocrit, I call it being human and I can't be perfect or follow a dogma or platform every second of everyday. That is a very high standard to live up to and I can't do it. I know this, my other half knows this and my closest family and friends know this.
I spend a lot of time encouraging others in whatever they are pursuing like weight loss, running, dating, education or just plain "trying to get it together". I don't want anything back, I like saying good job or come on we can run up that hill! I like hearing people's success stories and I also like patting someone on the shoulder when they fall off the wagon for minute.
I have found a group of people who don't seem to think I need to be perfect. Interestingly enough this group of women and men do not talk politics or religion. We are a group of people defined by the fact that we are people, there is no expectation of synchronizing ideology in order to get along. As a group of grown adults we can, without too much difficulty, realize that we all emerged from different backgrounds, have different life experiences and we know that shaped who each of us are. We all, generally unconsciously, accept each other as who they are and choose to focus on what brings us together, rather than what might make us different. We talk about other things and when politics or religion does find it's way in we respect that persons right to opinion, and move on. We do not discuss or debate.
I am finding that while most of these people know I am on the right and I am Catholic they don't seem to care, if I slip and make a comment, I don't get the dirty look and no one breaks out in hives because I disagreed. On a whole, I am not fully aware of my friends political and religious feelings, aside from various Facebook post or the occasional telling comment. It's a great feeling to have found such a diverse group of people, surrounded myself with them, and to be accepted by the group.
Our ideology is not the defining factor within our group, and it's not the defining factor I want tagged to my life. I don't want to leave this world being known as a Conservative Catholic Republican. I want my legacy to be the person who helped and supported others to achieve their goals, because it was the right thing to do, and as a Patriots fan, of course.
