I did it! I finally let all of the anger and hurt (both self-inflicted and not self-inflicted) go about a month ago. I am a much less stressed and lighter woman these days. Letting go of anger apparently lets go of 5 pounds too...I'll take it. I am working on building better relationships with the people in my life as of today. I'm back to running consistently which makes for a more mentally happy being as well. I am going to try to get back to some of my favorite interests that have fallen by the wayside in the last year as well like reading and cooking. I forgot how much I love to cook. Most importantly I am going to make sure I have quality time with my younger daughter everyday. She has been the one who has been lost in the shuffle and I intend on fixing that starting tonight. The older daughter's drama is just going to have to take a back seat for a while.
I have a birthday coming up and plan on making the second half of my life spectacular. I am going to find ways to go on vacations, I am going to find ways to help people anonymously, I am going to find ways to encourage everyone I know to be the person they dream of being and I am going to make sure I never put my children through Hell again. I have a camera sitting on my bureau collecting dust...it's time to get out and start using it. I always seem to be working and running...and I have figured out that I am missing out on life and it's time to start living. It's a little early, but I am making my New Year's Resolution now. I am going to take my daughters on some kind of adventure every month. Since I am missing out on life...so are they and that is not fair to them. Sooooo....bring on the holidays and once the gifts are opened and put away...life begins anew for one single Mom and her two kids!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
My dealings with Hypocrisy
I am just as guilty as the next person when it comes to hypocrisy, but lately I can't believe how much hypocrisy is flying around. We have certainly become a "Do as I say and not as I do" society. I don't think people in general try to be that way, I think most people judge too harshly on first sight instead of seeing why a person might be reacting a certain way. Most people are good. So when they take the time to write something or venemous words are said, there is probably a good reason...at least in that person's mind.
There are always at the minimum two sides to every argument. Is anyone ever really right or really wrong? I don't think so...but there are definite winners and losers. Currently my two amazing daughters are the losers and my ex-husband is the winner. I, myself, am way too busy to even look up long enough to find out where I stand. Some days I think I am winning, but then child support doesn't come through and I can't pay the bills even though I work two jobs. Then I am on the losing end again. It happens. I know it won't be like this forever...the Courts will catch up with the ex eventually. In the mean time I do what I can and my girls are learning how to compare prices when we shop or put off getting something for a few weeks. Hopefully they are learning more than that right now. I hope they are learning that there is no easy way out, that there is always a price to pay and that you should never say something that might come back to haunt you....which brings us back to hypocrisy.
I have had many not so nice things said to and about me over the last 6 months from someone who has never met me. I too have said things that are not so nice as well. The fact that I am an extremely stubborn redhead and the other person is extremely vengeful in nature, this will probably never get resolved. But again...back to the hypocrisy that has astounded me lately. I am not sure how I can be called a bad mother when the person calling me that has let a man she met on the internet move in with her and her children...including a 6 year old girl? To my knowledge...the little girl and the man had never met before...I could be wrong...people like to lie to me. That to me sounds like the stupidest, most irresponsible thing a mother could do. What happened to protecting our children? Yes, my boyfriend lives with me and my two yong daughters, but he also knew them for almost 6 months before he moved in. They had a chance to get to know him and they also had a say in if he moved in or not. I made sure they were part of the decision.
This same person also sent me a text that said "I'm not like you Michelle. I don't take in men that are not my husband." But she did, then again I guess they could have gotten married last month. Nothing would surprise me.
I think my favorite part of this whole entire mess is that she is a Christian...I mean a real Christian. Quotes Scripture and everything. He is/was a hardcore Atheist. He spent years telling me how stupid religion is and how stupid I was for having my beliefs and and how it is filled with tons of hypocrisy...and he just left his children to move 16 hours away to....live with it...blatant hypocrisy.
Now that I got my little vent out of the way...I am coming back to my blog to start writing about my new life being a real single parent since my ex up and left and left me to raise our children. That makes 3 children he will have nothing to do with as a parent outside of being a "Disney Dad"...but that's about all he can handle. The exciting part is that I get to mold and shape and teach my girls how to be independent, strong, hard working and confident without much interference. There IS always a bright side! To be fair, since I currently work 2 jobs and go to school full time, I have to give credit where credit is due. I have an amazing boyfriend who has completely picked up the slack with my girls. He considers them his and would do anything for them and for that I am grateful. He has his issues and we all do...but he has the biggest heart of anyone I know and I am fortunate to have him in my life in any capacity. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him and I hope he comes to understand that while the girls can be difficult and down right mean sometimes...someday they too will look back and have a deep appreciation for him as well.
I won't work two jobs forever and I won't be in school forever...so for now I am going to try to keep up with my blogs and it will be fun to look back one day and see how far I have come.
I hope my ex enjoys the easy life...at least when I am on my deathbed...I can die knowing I did everything I could to be there for my children everyday, teach them the important lessons in life and know that I never took the easy way out.
M~
There are always at the minimum two sides to every argument. Is anyone ever really right or really wrong? I don't think so...but there are definite winners and losers. Currently my two amazing daughters are the losers and my ex-husband is the winner. I, myself, am way too busy to even look up long enough to find out where I stand. Some days I think I am winning, but then child support doesn't come through and I can't pay the bills even though I work two jobs. Then I am on the losing end again. It happens. I know it won't be like this forever...the Courts will catch up with the ex eventually. In the mean time I do what I can and my girls are learning how to compare prices when we shop or put off getting something for a few weeks. Hopefully they are learning more than that right now. I hope they are learning that there is no easy way out, that there is always a price to pay and that you should never say something that might come back to haunt you....which brings us back to hypocrisy.
I have had many not so nice things said to and about me over the last 6 months from someone who has never met me. I too have said things that are not so nice as well. The fact that I am an extremely stubborn redhead and the other person is extremely vengeful in nature, this will probably never get resolved. But again...back to the hypocrisy that has astounded me lately. I am not sure how I can be called a bad mother when the person calling me that has let a man she met on the internet move in with her and her children...including a 6 year old girl? To my knowledge...the little girl and the man had never met before...I could be wrong...people like to lie to me. That to me sounds like the stupidest, most irresponsible thing a mother could do. What happened to protecting our children? Yes, my boyfriend lives with me and my two yong daughters, but he also knew them for almost 6 months before he moved in. They had a chance to get to know him and they also had a say in if he moved in or not. I made sure they were part of the decision.
This same person also sent me a text that said "I'm not like you Michelle. I don't take in men that are not my husband." But she did, then again I guess they could have gotten married last month. Nothing would surprise me.
I think my favorite part of this whole entire mess is that she is a Christian...I mean a real Christian. Quotes Scripture and everything. He is/was a hardcore Atheist. He spent years telling me how stupid religion is and how stupid I was for having my beliefs and and how it is filled with tons of hypocrisy...and he just left his children to move 16 hours away to....live with it...blatant hypocrisy.
Now that I got my little vent out of the way...I am coming back to my blog to start writing about my new life being a real single parent since my ex up and left and left me to raise our children. That makes 3 children he will have nothing to do with as a parent outside of being a "Disney Dad"...but that's about all he can handle. The exciting part is that I get to mold and shape and teach my girls how to be independent, strong, hard working and confident without much interference. There IS always a bright side! To be fair, since I currently work 2 jobs and go to school full time, I have to give credit where credit is due. I have an amazing boyfriend who has completely picked up the slack with my girls. He considers them his and would do anything for them and for that I am grateful. He has his issues and we all do...but he has the biggest heart of anyone I know and I am fortunate to have him in my life in any capacity. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him and I hope he comes to understand that while the girls can be difficult and down right mean sometimes...someday they too will look back and have a deep appreciation for him as well.
I won't work two jobs forever and I won't be in school forever...so for now I am going to try to keep up with my blogs and it will be fun to look back one day and see how far I have come.
I hope my ex enjoys the easy life...at least when I am on my deathbed...I can die knowing I did everything I could to be there for my children everyday, teach them the important lessons in life and know that I never took the easy way out.
M~
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